Saturday, January 12, 2008

Jesus' Penis

Aroused 'Jesus' statue outrage:
A controversial piece of artwork has been blasted by a Christian group - because it depicts Jesus with an erect penis.
Sometimes it's so easy to piss off the jesoids, I'm ashamed of myself.

Update: In honor of the theme, here's Eric Schwartz' classic Keep Your Jesus off my Penis


  1. Yeah, well if Christians believe that Jesus was fully human as well as fully divine, then he presumably farted once in a while. It should not be a stretch to think that he would get a boner every now and then, and gasp, possibly even a nocturnal emission or two during his teenage years!

  2. Blashphemer! Repent! Jesus never intended us to have gonads!

  3. Jeez, wish I'd a thought of that.

    I'm going to have to get down to my studio and make something blasphemous.

  4. Uh...well first of all Jesus was a Jew. So he was circumcised. That usually deletes about a 1/2 inch of only. The average penis is 6" long. So, we can assume that Jesus probably had between a 5-6' penis. The question is: did he ever use it? Answer: Of course you religious morons! He was 30 years old when he became "God" (by the way, who the hell was he praying to in the Garden of Gethsemane? Himself???) Regardless, my guess is that Jesus had an average sized penis, and that he screwed a lot of whores prior to his 3 year campaign as God on earth.

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    1. Sorry, anon. A little too graphic for my taste.

  7. you MUST be a christian!


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