Peter: Hi, Justin.Funniest (and truest) fucking thing I've read in a month.
Jason: Hi, Peter. Just so that we are clear my name is Jason.
Peter: Are you trying to commit a logical fallacy by correcting me?
Jason: WTF are you talking about?
Peter: No bother, I apologize for the misunderstanding. Let’s talk about that dog over there. Would you say that that dog is gray?
Jason: That is an elephant, Peter. It’s ten feet tall and has a big fucking trunk. It is a fucking Elephant.
Peter: I didn’t ask you if it was an elephant, Jason. I asked you if that dog is gray. Just answer the question. But be careful, you will have to accept the consequences of your answer.
Jason: Seriously. It’s a goddamn fucking elephant. If your question is “Is that quadruped gray?”, then yes, yes it is.
Peter: I told you to be careful how you answer the question. You should have listened to me. Can I passive-aggressively offer you a coffee to drink while you mull it over? You see Jason, if you answer yes, you are saying that that animal is a dog, and you are committing the fallacy of mutual contradiction. An elephant can’t be a dog, you see. If you answer no, then you are saying that it is not gray, and by their nature all elephants are gray. So again, you are wrong.
Jason: First off, that is the most retarded thing anyone has ever said to me. Second, what about albino elephants? Are they not white, or at least cream colored?
Peter: See, you lost the argument when you answered the question. I am not obliged now to answer any of your arguments because you are wrong no matter how you answer. I claim victory. You admitted that you are incapable of simple color recognition or of species identification, so in your world any animal can be any color, or any species. That makes no logical sense.
Jason: Seriously? Are you even sane?
Peter: I cannot argue with someone who cannot grasp simple logic. Good day to you, sir.
(aside) Wow, I sure showed him. I got him to admit that an elephant was a dog. What an ass.
[Egregious Intelligence tag for Jason and George; Egregious Stupidity tag for Peter]